Friday, July 19, 2013

Guest Post: Becky Due - 10 Ways to Get Our Zest Back

Life is difficult when we realize we have lost our zest and we have nothing to look forward to. Whether we are feeling rejected, feeling like a failure or just feeling down and lacking direction, these ten simple steps can help.

1. Take full responsibility for our life – This does not include what somebody else has done to us, but this does include everything that we have done to us. Never take responsibility if we are a victim of a crime or abuse—but everything we do after a crime or abuse is our responsibility. Taking responsibility will give us back our power! When we wait for somebody to apologize, rescue us, or make things right, we’ve given away our power. When we wait for somebody to change, or blame somebody else for our unhappiness, we are giving that person power over us. Take our power back by taking responsibility for our life! 

2. Make peace with ourselves/forgive ourselves – This is huge! So often we hear that we need to forgive somebody else, not for them but for us (good advice). But what about us? What about forgiving ourselves for us! Maybe it is time we forgive ourselves for the decisions we have made. Learn from every hurt and failure. Turn every mistake into a stepping stone to a better life. Face our flaws, embrace them and then congratulate ourselves for being normal and imperfect just like everybody else. It’s time to forgive ourselves and make peace with who we are; we did what we thought was right at that time. As long as we learn from our mistakes there is no reason to keep beating ourselves up.

3. Love our life as it is – Find the good in what is happening in our life right now and focus on that. What are we grateful for today? 

4. Give back – Do something for somebody else. The more we give the more we receive. We need to get out of our own heads; sometimes we need to stop the thinking about ourselves and start the doing for somebody else. There is always somebody worse off than us. Somebody who could use our help. Giving feels good. (But remember, helping is not enabling. Enabling is rewarding bad behavior over and over and over again.) Give to somebody who will appreciate it, and always be sure our own oxygen mask is on first before we help the person sitting next to us.

5. Balance – Find balance! It’s simple. Divide our life into thirds: One third of our time should be spent on our passion/purpose/career. One third of our time we should spend on ourselves, doing what we love. One third of our time should be spent with our family, friends, and significant other. Balance is important because if one part of our life is lost or in turmoil, the other parts will still be in order and carry us through the hard times. 

6. Demand more from ourselves, for ourselves – Set goals. Challenge ourselves. Just do something to move in the right direction and build momentum. When we find that we’re excited about the future instead of being dragged down by negativity, we’re on the right path.

7. Stay true to values – Make a list of what we value. What matters to us? What is important in our life? Life is about choices. Stay true to what fills us up and makes us happy. If we stay true to our values—who we really are at our core—we cannot be swayed by the many outside influences that bombard us every 

8. Give to ourselves what we wish we had from a partner – If we’re feeling lonely, get creative about being good to ourselves and surround ourselves with family and friends. If we are independent and happy on our own, we’ll make a much better partner down the road.

9. Stick with good people – Positive, healthy successful people are happy people and it is contagious! Avoid the complainers, whiners, drunks, druggies, thieves, abusers and needy people—it’s contagious! Positive people are happy people and fun to be around. They look forward to challenges and going forward in their lives. If we hang with positive people we will be positive people.

10. Allow ourselves bad days – we’ll have imperfect days of low energy, mood swings, confusion, loneliness and sadness. We’re human. It will pass. Remember that without some lows, we can’t experience the highs. We can always pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and carry on. That’s what this wonderful life is all about.


About the Author:
Becky Due is the new voice of women’s fiction. She has the courage, honesty and writing style for today’s busy women, and she does not cringe away from hard issues. She will leave you feeling strong, self-confident, independent, and in control of your life.

Her books have won, and been finalists in, several independent competitions including the 2011 National Indie Excellence Awards, 2010 Indie Excellence Awards and the 2009 IPPY Awards.

Her novels are not the same story with different characters; she has the ability to cross genres from light-hearted romance to heart-racing suspense to keep her readers entertained and inspired.

Becky has been a guest on national TV and radio programs, and the subject of numerous newspaper and national magazine articles for empowering women with her books. She has served as a guest speaker at Women’s Resource Centers, Shelters, Colleges and High Schools throughout theUnited StatesBecky has had extensive training at Victim Services, worked the 24-Hour Sexual Assault Crisis-Line and was a Victim's Advocate where she offered one-on-one assistance and support to rape victims. In 2007, she started Women Going Forward, the first national women’s telephone support group, which ran for almost two years. After receiving much recognition for her books, Becky’s focus turned back to her writing and empowering women with her novels.

Her latest book is the women’s fiction, Traveling for Love: Searching for Self, Hoping for Love

Visit her website at

Connect & Socialize with Becky:


About the Book:

Amanda's life is suddenly turned upside down when her husband tells her he wants a divorce. She realizes she no longer knows who she is - her life revolved around her husband. At age 40, she finds herself divorced, childless, living in an apartment with a roommate, with little education and no career path. Can Amanda heal her pain and find love again? Will she find the career of her dreams? When will Amanda realize that she deserves to be happy?

Available online at:


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